Review: Pirates: Stagnetti's Revenge

The logo. Look at it. Just Look at it. It's... Amazing.

Pirates: Stagnetti’s Revenge

(2008)
Language: English
Director: Joone
Actors: Jesse Jane, Belladonna, Evan Stone...

There are two kinds of porn movies. There are the ones that have story, and then there are those that have not. Pirates: Stagnettis Revenge fits in the first category. This movie is THE definite movie for couples. It’s both funny and hot. A perfect movie for a romantic evening of food, candles and ”couples therapy”.

The sailors.

Let’s get one thing straight right away: the acting in this movie is unbelieveable in adults entertainment standards. I have never seen as funny and as entertaining adult movie. There. I said it. Never. There’s also a large amount of dialog, so much in fact that you could fit 10 normal adult films in it. And it’s actually quite entertaining.

I'm acting! I'm really, really ACTING!

The movie follows the adventures of captain Edward Reynolds in his anti-pirating work. Naturally, he has lot’s of good looking women on his boat, and even some on the land. At certain point of the movie it comes to his knowledge that his archenemy Stagnetti isn’t quite dead yet. And so he sails to destroy Stagnetti’s eeevil schemes. 

The largest worm in the movie.

Yarrrr. That be me ship!

The set design is Pirates is amazing. If there was a ”Best set design in porn” –oscar, this movie would be a no-brainer for it. There are some little things such as some actors with abnormally white teeth and/or fillings from the future, but it’s mostly the trivial things. In some action scenes the actors dialogs didn’t fit the era the movie was supposed to be set in. I know these people are pirates, but I don’t think even pirates sounded like this when ”thay wer a thumping da butt”.

I don't know what you did, but I think you liked it.

The costumes were great and looked really genuine. I wish more movies used costumes like these. Also the music was good and fit the movie nicely. It was maybe a little forgettable but otherwise I liked it. The sound effects were top notch.

Iiik. Yar.

If I have one problem with this movie it’s this: SPIT. The amount of spit flowing in this movie is ridiculous. Again. This is a problem with lot’s of newer movies. But since this movie is set on the sea, I will let it pass. Just remember.... Less SPIT on the sequel, mate.

That's pretty... Disgusting.

This movie get’s the most stars ever awarded. It's unheard of that you don't want to fast forward while watching a adult movie. Nuts even.

Great grapes. Great grapes.

Food recommentation for this movie:  Melons and wine. With good company.

Here's some melons for you.

**** MovieChef Stars