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| God this place is... Beautiful. Just look at the green fields! |
Hawaiian Blast
(1999)
Language: English
Director: Ralph Parfait
Actors: Kobe Tai, Peter North. Alexandra Silk, Holly Body...
This is the worst adult movie I have ever seen. Period. And I have seen a lot of adult movies, trust me on that.
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| Freakshow. |
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| My hair. Check out my hair! |
A group of people go on a holiday in a the magical island of Chernobyl- I mean Hawaii. Somehow they manage to find the island’s most hideou- beautiful places, and make lots and lots of looove in them. Ok. The place is horrible. There’s a terrible smog, lot’s of abandoned buildings, and everything is rusty and dirty. I hope these people didn’t pay too much for their travel agency...
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| This isn't exactly what I think of when I think of paradise. |
The acting was bad, the ”island” was horrible, the music was hideous and the actions scenes were BOOORING. Kobe Tai almost saved this movie, but after watching her vacuum Peter North for 30 minutes even the field she was doing it was bored.
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| What a beautiful place to make love. |
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| A fine smoggy day. |
The editing was horrid. Period. I have never seen a movie this badly edited. It was like something out of a someones wedding album. Where the cameraman was drunk. And stoned. And was vacuuming the bestman while doing it.
The actors were absolutely bored while hiding the sausage. You can see some of them yawn while eating bratwursts, and believe me, that is dangerous. The people even sounded like they were vomiting when they reached their climaxes.
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| A 5 star hotel. Hot. |
I just can’t say anything good about this movie. Usually a movie get’s better if you fast forward it, but this one didn’t! It’s that bad.
Ok. The movie get’s half a star for including Kobe Tai.
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| Kobe Tai. And a river of shit. |
And even that is stretching it.
½ MovieChef Stars!
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